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How (Not) to be a Good Military Wife

I begin this post with a standing ovation to my heroes in uniform and the men and women serving beside them but carrying the title of “Military Spouse”.  I know that both jobs, at times, can be equally difficult and equally rewarding.  However, there are certain missteps that no self-respecting military spouse should make.  Here they are:

 

1.  Being a military spouse can be very confusing.  Yes, it is a lifestyle for your family.  But at the end of the day, it is just a job.  Your spouse’s job.  Yes, it requires long periods of separation, deployments, frequent moves etc.  but it is a job. You need to put your grown up undies on and deal with it.  If you don’t, it will make you crazy!

2.  It is no more appropriate for you to contact his boss directly than it is for him to contact yours.  If you are in a social setting or at a social function, it is not okay to talk about your husband’s career with his boss or, for that matter, anyone in his chain of command.  Commiserating between spouses is acceptable.  Sometimes.

3.  Take all that shit off your car.  Ditch the ACU purse and the “Proud Army Wife” t-shirt.  It’s called opsec.  Not advertising.  Besides, I haven’t seen anything of that genre that isn’t tacky as hell.

4.  “Don’t confuse my rank with your authority” is a myth.  You have no rank, you have no authority.  Period.  Your position as household six does not put you in his official command structure.  NEVER NEVER NEVER call your husband’s boss to bitch about anything.  Trust me when I say your beloved will thank you for it.  All these calls do is cause complications and get your loved ones’ mates thinking he’s whipped and ineffective.  “Does your wife make all your decisions?”  If you’re calling his chain of command, the answer to that is a hard to disprove “yes”.

5.  Support your local family programs.  There is strength in numbers and the friendships you will make during your spouse’s career are invaluable.  Just like in every situation, these social groups are what you make of it.  If you don’t like it, put yourself out there and change it.  Use your powers for good!

6.  Take time to pursue your own interests and stay your own person.  Work if it suits you, get an education, volunteer.  Keep your marketable skills sharp.  You never know when you might need them.  Do not vest yourself so fully in your spouse’s career, that you neglect your own.

7. Manage your money wisely.  Be a fully informed partner in your financial future.  There are lots of benefits to military life.  Familiarize yourself with them and use them to the max!

8.  The very best advice I can give you is to treat people the way the way you expect to be treated.  Not everyone will be nice to you but you will still like the person looking back at you in the mirror.  Also, if you notice that EVERYONE is being a bitch, it’s not them.  It’s you.

 

 

Veteran’s Day

 

Today I am pausing to remember my all of my heroes past and present who have defended our freedom.  I have witnessed first-hand the hard work you do and the sacrifices you make.  The way you perform your work with honor and pride inspires me.  Thank you is not enough.  You are my heroes.

To the husbands and wives, sons, daughters, mothers, fathers and other families who stand beside them and keep the homefront reinforced, I applaud you.  I share your hopes and fears.  I know your sacrifices as well.  We are one.

May God Bless You, your service and your loved ones.

 
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Poor Baby


 

Guess where my hubs is this week?  Poor guy!

Don’t forget to enter this giveaway!  You have to leave a comment on the blog post for your first entry for the others to count.  If you joined SparkPeople because of it, my user name is TANAWW if you’d like us to be friends on SP.

Coming up on LisaSharp.com are a whole lot of product reviews.  I’ve been pretty blessed with BzzAgent and a couple of other sampling opportunities so I will be passing those along.  What else are you hoping to find here?